// SECTION 04: TABULAR MEASUREMENTS & SINK DEBT INDEX
Every bowl dirtied is a tax on tomorrow's peace.
Empirical comparison between traditional multi-vessel gourmet preparation and the TabPFN-governed single-vessel methodology. Data collected across 130 realistic kitchen observations.
| METRIC PARAMETER | CLASSICAL GOURMET COOKING | SLOTHFRIDGE + TABPFN ENGINE | COUCH ARBITRAGE DELTA |
|---|---|---|---|
| SINK UTENSILS ACCUMULATED | 6.4 items (plates, bowls, pans, whisk) | 1.0 item (eat directly from skillet/mug) | -84.3% sink volume |
| CONTINUOUS VERTICAL STANDING | 24.5 minutes on cold floor | 3.8 minutes continuous maximum | -84.5% human fatigue |
| CHOPPING BOARDS SOILED | 2 boards (cross-contamination dread) | 0 boards (bare hands tear force) | -100% board scrubbing |
| POST-DINNER DISH DREAD | High (abandoned in sink until tomorrow) | Zero (pan wiped with paper/sponge) | Instant peace of mind |
| TABPFN POSTERIOR CERTITUDE | Guesswork & Instagram aesthetic panic | TabPFN prior classification on 130 meals | Empirical laziness |
| CALORIC TIME-TO-BED | 52 minutes (prep + cook + clean) | 8.5 minutes total door-to-mattress | +43.5 mins horizontal rest |
The TabPFN 130-Meal Dataset
In [data/sloth_meals.csv](file:///d:/SlothFridge/data/sloth_meals.csv), 130 distinct culinary setups were mapped across seven input features: ingredient count, knife requirements, heat source, dairy, proteins, grains, and subjective sloth level.
The classification target divides human exhaustion into three strict regimes:
- Zero Effort (Mug): 1 dish, 2.0 to 4.0 minutes active standing. Sloth Approval Score: 90–99.
- Low Effort (1 Pan): 2 dishes, 4.5 to 8.0 minutes active standing. Sloth Approval Score: 65–85.
- High Effort (Avoid): 4+ dishes, >12.0 minutes standing. Sloth Approval Score: <45.
TOTAL EXPERIMENTAL TRIALS:
130 ROWS
FEATURE VECTOR DIMENSIONS:
7 ATTRIBUTES
CLASSIFIER INFERENCE TIME:
< 15 MS
SINK CLEANUP DISCOURAGEMENT:
MAXIMUM PENALTY (4 DISHES)